A New Year, in Which Betsey and Jane Learn to Dance More

betsey: Jane, it seems amazing to me that it’s 2011. There’s something so hopeful and promising about this time. You clear out the Christmas clutter, you clean out a drawer, you put up the new bird calendar or whatever you got. And you start reflecting on what you might want the year to look like.

I know this has been a hard season for you. But do you find yourself being reflective around this time of year?

jane: My holiday season has been an unusually difficult one, Betsey, since we lost my sister-in-law to cancer the day after Christmas. That week, 

in the ICU waiting room of a downtown Detroit hospital, I started some serious “soul work” for the coming year.

Losing a loved one – even when you know she's in heaven – makes you reassess your mortality and the way you live your life.

But as far as the typical New Year's resolutions go, well, I gave that up a long time ago. I found I set myself up for certain failure, especially when it involved promises about diet, weight loss, and reading the Bible through in a year.

betsey: I hear that! But, as I said, there’s something about January. . . . On New Year’s Day Fritz and I sat down with pen and yellow pad and wrote down what we’re calling “commitments” – starting with the spiritual and scriptural foundations for those commitments. It felt good to start with the “main thing.” But tell me more about your “soul work.”

jane: My sister-in-law was known by so many as a woman who loved God and served others. You know how when you attend a memorial service and hear what others say about the deceased, it makes you wonder what others will say about you when you pass? (At least, I do.) So this year

I've asked God to help me do the things I do, write, say, think (even all my cooking, cleaning, and schlepping around) more fully for him.

Of course that's always been my desire, but now, I hunger more fully for that . . . to be more concerned about pleasing God instead of consumed by an all-too-frequent concern about pleasing others.

betsey: I like the idea of building on things that one is already doing, as opposed to endless resolutions that are impossible to keep. Like I want to grow my own writing projects – tend, nurture, become more intentional about this thing I love and know and am called to. And, I must admit, there are some of the usual suspects. One big one for us is, get more sleep!

jane: Amen, sister! I think our sleep deprivation is self-induced, due to our lack of discipline regarding the two behemoths that cozy up to us every night, snoring and squirming and twitching . . .

Rich told me he wants our lives to be as exciting as the first time we met and as passionate as though it was the last time we were together. That brought tears to my eyes, and it still does. I long for that, too, especially after being reminded all too recently of life's brevity. Too often I focus on the minors, turning them into majors, when I should be sloughing them off. Instead, 

I want to become better at making my moments count, to take every opportunity to "dance" rather than sit on the sidelines.

That's something to work toward.

betsey: As you know, Fritz and I admire you and Rich for your ability to “dance” (even for Wheaton grads!). You DO a lot together. That’s definitely one commitment we’re making this year and, perhaps, a fitting New Year’s greeting to anyone keeping up with this blog: This year, get off the sidelines and dance!