betsey: Moi? A fashion coach? Oh, right, I do remember casually tossing off a Spanx . . . reference.
jane: It was for that Alaskan cruise Rich and I took a few months ago. I purchased a pair of their industrial-strength slimming panties for the dress I planned to wear at the cruise “formal night” dinner (the idea of having to get dressy made me break out in a cold sweat). Let me tell you, the rigors of shopping for that cocktail dress were akin to those I underwent in my quest for the perfect MOB (mother of the bride) dress for Sarah's wedding - but that's another story.
What about you, Betsey? Have you Spanxed yet?
betsey: No, but my 20-something daughter has certainly clued me in, including to the fact that probably more women, celebrity and not, than we realize wear them early and often – that’s how they get that unnaturally taut, toned torso when
you KNOW that underneath is a muffin top yearning to breathe free.As you know, I’m not exactly on the red carpet either, but I hereby declare that at my next formal soirée I shall be suitably Spanxed.
jane: I love that! “Muffin top yearning to breathe free.” It does indeed need a little air from time to time, I've found!
Joking aside, let me put in a good word for Spanx. When I took mine on their maiden voyage, I found I could still sit, talk, eat, and breathe while wearing them, and they did firm me up a bit. Now I'm glad they're part of my fashion “arsenal” - you know, one of the "big guns."
I don't know why I spent so many years skirting around Spanx, but after one too many unpleasant encounters with a dressing-room mirror, I finally decided to bite the body-shaper bullet. Once I made that decision, I just wanted to get the transaction over with as quickly as possible. So I walked into a lingerie department, acting disinterested enough to discourage salesperson interaction while furtively searching out the Spanx display. I homed in, picked out a pair, paid, then hightailed it so I wouldn't find myself a hapless prisoner of one of those well-meaning sales ladies who hovers outside your dressing-room door and asks a little too loudly, “DO YOU NEED ANOTHER SIZE?”
I did have the presence of mind to ask the cashier about the store's return policy on Spanx. I figured they'd have some restrictions on returning unmentionables, right? “No,” she told me, “same policy as with everything else.”
I still haven't gotten the image out of my mind of someone else happily Spanxing in the pair I ending up buying. Eww!betsey: I wish there was a way to buy these without subjecting oneself to a humiliating “lingerie experience.” Think Amazon sells Spanx?
jane: Amazon sells everything. And maybe Spanx qualifies for free shipping! I'm going to check . . . I bet they even sell bras.
Speaking of bras, do you remember how Oprah did a show once about finding the perfect bra? She had certified bra fitters on who helped women determine the proper size and style for their body type. Another friend once went to a bra fitter, too, someone we've referred to as the Bra Nazi, because according to my friend, this professional was NOT shy when it came to measuring her and figuring out the size she should be buying . . . and, of course
it's never the size you think you are while you're in a fevered state, frantically tossing bras around in a dressing room at Kohl's.I remember this girlfriend was amazed at the difference between her old bras and her new, properly fitted one. I really should give this gal a try one day; I'm just a little shy about placing myself in the Bra Nazi's hands!
betsey: I think there’s a larger issue here, too – it’s being open to changing your look or doing things a different way as you get older. We’ve already “touched on touchups” – hair color, that is! Spanx, too. It’s new (to people like me) and scary, but it will help you! I’m seriously considering getting a straightening process done. Again, I have misgivings – not the least of which is the cost – but it may be amazing. We fall into clothes ruts and makeup ruts. I’ve known women who looked the same as they did in 1991.
But it’s so much easier – and safer – to stick with the tried and true.
jane: I suppose you're right. That might explain a certain reticence for trying new things. But is the underlying reason simply that we're stuck in a rut, or is it more about how comfortable we really are in our own skin? I'm guessing that the more self-confidence a woman has in her attractiveness, the easier it is for her to experiment with clothes and makeup and other "stuff."
In any case, I guess I'll always be a bit of a late bloomer. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 50 (like Oprah!). THAT was a bit scary, but I did it! And as far as earrings go, let's just say I've more than made up for lost time. In the end, I'm really glad I pushed myself outside my comfort zone – and into the Spanx Zone.
6 comments:
Three C-sections and the middle-aged bulge have left me a candidate for Spanx. I'd never even heard of them until a friend, with two children getting married last summer, mentioned them. She was shopping for not one, but two, MOB dresses.
With my friend's recommendation, I added a body-shaper to my shopping trip to find a suitable dress for the weddings. Alas, I did not buy Spanx. I was so uncomfortable! Maybe I need ANOTHER SIZE?
And to answer the question asked, "Yes! You can order Spanx online." They have their own website. Next special occasion, I'm on it!
OK, Jane, you know I had to step forward. I am the Bra Nazi "victim" Jane refers to. It definitely was beyond my comfort zone to put myself into her hands, so to speak, but it was worth it both in the physical results and in giving me great fodder for jokes! I've never tried Spanx, but I have images of wrestling to get into them, working up such a sweat that NOTHING would slip onto my body. The final scene is me and the Spanx both lying on the floor in exhausted mutual surrender.
I fear that a Bra Nazi in the same room with Me In A Spanx would change the feng shui yet again. All that "stuff" has to be squished up and out (or down and out, or both)! A Bra Nazi will typically say that some of a chick's "side" and even "back" fat is actually, um, breast tissue. And that it must be Front and Center, at all costs! So you end up in a bra with a smaller band size and a BIGGER cup size. Once Spanx is factored in, well....Add another cup size, ladies!!!! :) BTW, you've GOT to get on the mailing list for the Spanx catalog. When you see the bra-girdle combos they've got going on, you may just gasp your last!
>>>Jane wrote: But is the underlying reason simply that we're stuck in a rut, or is it more about how comfortable we really are in our own skin?
Girls, girls, girls, what about the OTHER option: That maybe, just maybe, we've, gasp-I've-said-it, given up. (Or at least are being tempted to.)
As in, given up on our "inner hotness", as I wrote about in my book, Hot Flashes from Heaven. (And yes, in addition to thong underwear, I also recommended Spanx. Oh, and Victoria Secret's Very Sexy line of bras for bringing new "lift" to sagging..hmmmm, spirits. Yup, that's right, spirits.)
I feel that, like the ebb and flow (mostly ebbing)of my hormones thee days, my inner-hotness occasionally needs a rebooting of its hard drive. And that takes some major, ahem, technical support. Spanx being a major piece of "hardware" for this ol' broad.
I've found that to sustain that inner hotness, I need to nurture it with some serious "mirror-time", tweaking what no longer works and being willing to try new looks that just might. This "primp-power" does something to my, uh, "innerness", however you define it. That thing we SO took for granted in our younger years.
I did exactly that a couple days ago. Spent some mirror time, primping and puttering with makeup, hair and wardrobe in an unhurried, but purposeful, sorta way. Looking for that illusive "mojo" that had seemed to disappear right along with my estrogen-count.
Know what? I found it! In the mirror. In the pure "hands-on" of a little feminine primping. Sure, it took me longer than it would have four decades ago. But I DID find "it", albeit a little bit more wrinkled and crinkled but still there. That inner hotness. Felt it. Savored it. Walked in it all day and realized it affected everything from my smile to my poster to even my libido. In doing so I realized I needed to nurture it a little more often if I wanted to keep it around. And not fall into that midlife trap of complacency, better known as, (Spanx me for sayin' it), giving up.
Amazon does sell Spanx, though I STRONGLY suspect the models pictured already have flat stomachs. Pah!
My daughter had been sick and was still ailing on the day of her eighth grade pictures. (I offer that as an excuse for what she said.) She couldn't get her hair right, and though I tried to encourage her, she wailed, "You don't understand!"
"Yes, I do," I assured her. "I've had thirty-seven years of hair, and I understand."
"No you don't," she sobbed. "You can't do anything with yours and that's why it always looks like that!"
So yes, there's a time to try a new look. And there's a time to be glad you'll never be thirteen again!
Reading this blog post made me realize what a male-dominated world I live in. A husband, 2 sons, 8 nephews, a male cat...My mother died when I was in my early 20's, no sisters etc...just men. I didn't even know stuff like Spanx existed. What else am I missing?!
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