We're Betsey and Jane, and We Approve This Message

jane: Betsey, Rich and I did something we've never done before: voted with absentee ballots. We thought we might be out of town on November 2 (we won't, as it turns out), so we decided to give this option a go. I have to admit, it felt weird to mail ballots. How do we really know our votes count? What if they're lost or misplaced or whatever?

Worries aside, since I've already voted, the political hoopla -- bold campaign signs planted in front yards, inflammatory political spots blasted on the air waves -- is anticlimactic. And I'm terribly annoyed by those robo-calls that intrude every evening as we sit down to eat. Enough already!

Actually, I know I'll miss the ritual of voting at our polling place: signing my name, entering the booth, using the stylus, even getting that “I Voted” sticker afterward. Every single time I've cast my vote, I've felt a flush of pride in our political process and deep gratitude for our freedoms.

But all this election talk reminds me of how I first learned you and Fritz had moved into our little village. Rich and I were going in to vote, and you and Fritz were on your way out. Remember?

betsey: Yes, I do! Coming out of the church near both of our neighborhoods, proudly wearing our “I Voted” stickers. I love voting at the polling place, seeing the dedicated election judges, filling out our ballots. It feels live and timeless and civic in an electronic age, you know? We used to take Amanda with us when we voted in our former precinct. We told her as long as she stayed quiet she could come, and that voting was Very Important. I really think she absorbed that message and today is pretty well-informed.

jane: When I was growing up, my extended family conducted lively political discussions during the passing of the mashed potatoes and gravy. My immigrant grandparents, who had lost all but their home in the Great Depression, were loyal Democrats -- they loved Hubert Humphrey. My parents, on the other hand, were Republicans (my mom a fairly new convert, having been an avid Kennedy supporter). They tried their hardest to convince my grandfather, in particular, of the errors of his loyal union ways . . . but the debate never did end in their favor. With his strong Norwegian accent, my grandfather obstinately articulated his views; there was no talking him out of them, thank you very much.

Those spirited dinnertime discussions were rich and instructive, even energizing for me as a child. But I also learned heated debate usually doesn't change someone's mind; it only causes a person to become more entrenched. What was it like in your house?

betsey: I have vivid memories of my dad yelling at the TV whenever the President came on -- no matter the man or the party! My parents leaned Republican, but it was more the GOP of their class and era -- more moderate and well-mannered. (Think “I Like Ike.”) Mom was a political science major -- and Dad was opinionated -- so I grew up in a home very conversant with current affairs. I have a very early memory of Mom watching the McCarthy hearings on TV in the ‘50s -- and twenty years after we were all caught up in the Watergate drama. But we didn’t really argue among ourselves.

jane: I still remember the1960 John F. Kennedy/Richard M. Nixon election, even though I was only seven. My mother had me wear a pro-Kennedy campaign hat into what I soon discovered was a very pro-Nixon classroom! My parents were on opposing sides that year, and my mom was playful (and sometimes over-the-top) in the methods she used to change my dad's mind.

Thankfully, I don't have to pull any "October surprises" or "dirty tricks" on Rich; we're in the same camp. I don't know how I'd handle it if we were like Mary Matalin and James Carville. Which makes me wonder how those two political operatives have managed to pull off a successful marriage despite being such rabid, vocal polar opposites. What about you and Fritz? Have you ever strongly disagreed on a candidate or issue?

betsey: Fritz and I tend to agree, although he shades more consistently to one side than I do and thinks I bounce capriciously around from one camp to another! There was one presidential election when I voted for a third-party candidate and he for one of the major-party guys. (Both lost!) But overall, I’m a solid independent. And I think Carville and Matalin manage because . . . it’s given them a pretty good living, I’m guessing!

Fritz and I have never really had a serious disagreement about an issue. I’ve known homes where couples did, and it’s no fun, particularly in a presidential election when one spouse is exulting because their guy won and the other is dejected because their guy didn’t.

Jane, I’ll ask you: Do you ever discuss politics with any of your friends? I know you and I don’t -- I think we’d find we agree on some things and not others -- but sometimes it’s nice to be in a “politics free” zone.

jane: Especially this time of year! In my circles, at least, politics seems to be one of those topics you avoid -- such as talking about how much money you earn. It's the “don't ask, don't tell” policy.

Frankly, sometimes I wish certain individuals in my Facebook network would adhere to this "don't tell" policy too, because I'm clearly NOT ASKING. I can't stand it when someone consistently uses Facebook as a platform for political name-calling and snarkiness toward a differing opinion.

But just think, by the time our next blog comes out, this campaign craziness will be over -- for a while. Before long, we'll be having our fill of presidential campaigning. Well, rock the vote next Tuesday, Betsey. And don't forget to grab an extra “I Voted” sticker for me!

betsey: If I see another campaign ad with that ominous music and an unflattering image of whoever the “bad guy” is . . . the barrage seems worse than ever this election cycle. And I completely agree about the abuse of Facebook as a political platform. But yes, I will vote and slap that sticker on my coat. Then I’ll go home, turn on the TV and, in Dad’s grand tradition, yell at the politicians! After all . . . they’re working for us.